You Wanna Do What?
by NCISVU
Summary: A night at the fair leads to a little more excitement than Tony and Abby anticipated. One-shot. Humor/Crack!Fic. Winner of the DiNozzo Bucket List challenge on NFA.


**Author's Note:** Strays from canon slightly… it was eluded to that Abby didn't take to Tony very quickly. They became fast friends in this story.

**You Wanna Do… What?**

Tony hadn't known Abby for very long but it didn't take long to figure out she was one crazy chick and Tony loved crazy—not creep crazy but fun crazy. There was nothing better than fun crazy. He'd only officially been a member of Gibbs' team for a month but he and Abby had taken to each other quickly. They had similar personalities and a similar admiration for their boss. They also loved to have fun no matter what. Life was too short to not have fun.

It was the first Friday night they had off since Tony had started working at NCIS and Abby had an exciting evening planned. Tony seemed to have come from Baltimore with no friends, or at least no friends he cared to mention. Abby took it on herself to be his friend. She loved meeting and getting to know new people and she and Tony had been getting along great so far. She had the perfect evening planned for them.

"So, why'd you leave Baltimore?" Abby asked as they walked along the dark street.

"Gibbs didn't tell you?" Tony asked. "I was under the impression he told you everything."

Abby laughed at Tony's misinformation. "Gibbs doesn't tell anybody everything," she said. "I may be the favorite but he's very choosy about who he shares what information with."

"Well, I just decided it was time for a change," Tony said vaguely.

"Commitment issues," Abby concluded with a friendly smile.

Tony shrugged indifferently. He didn't want to talk about it. "Where we going?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

"It's a surprise," Abby said. "Don't worry, we're almost there."

"Alright," Tony said. He had no clue where they were going but he wasn't too worried. Abby had promised him a night of excitement and he was up for just about anything.

The two walked along the dark street, talking and getting to know each other better. When they finally stopped, Tony found himself staring at the tall fence surrounding the fairgrounds. The fair was in town but it was late and everybody had gone home for the night. The area was isolated. They just had to scale the fence and they had it all to themselves.

Tony looked over at Abby, his eyes wide with excitement and a goofy grin on his face. "Every kid's dream!" he exclaimed happily. "All these rides, all to ourselves—no lines, no rules, no limits!"

"I was hoping you'd be up for it," Abby said starting up the fence. "I've always wanted to do this but it's no fun if you go alone and I've never found anyone willing to go with me."

"Are you kidding? Who would pass up an opportunity like this?" Tony said making quick work of the fence.

He and Abby rode the carousel together, took turns going on the swinging pirate ship, rollercoaster and the swings. They had an all out war with the bumper cars, fumbled their way through the house of mirrors and walked through the haunted house, which turned out to not be so haunted with nobody in there trying to scare them. They continued on and arrived at the Ferris wheel next. Tony grabbed Abby by the arm and smiled devilishly at her.

"What?" Abby asked, her excitement growing. She knew that look. Tony had an idea.

"I have, kind of a crazy idea," Tony said.

"Are you gonna tell me or just stand there grinning like an idiot?" Abby teased when Tony didn't continue on his own.

"Well, I don't want you to think I'm a pervert or anything," Tony said.

"Tony, I already know you're a pervert!" Abby said with a laugh. "Don't worry, that's one of the reasons I love ya!"

"Yeah?" Tony asked.

Abby nodded happily. "You can't talk about certain stuff with Gibbs. Movies, music and sex stuff in particular just go right over his head," she said sweeping her hand over her head.

"I don't know, Abs," Tony said skeptically. "I don't think Gibbs is as ignorant as we think he is. I think there's a lot more to him under all those polo shirts he wears."

Abby thought hard about Tony's words. "You might be right," she said. "Anyways, what's your idea?"

"I have this bucket list and… well…" Tony shook off the little shame he felt, knowing that if anyone would understand, it would be Abby. "I wanna ride this baby butt naked!"

Abby gasped, smiling from ear to ear as her eyes widened. "I love it!" she said ignoring the notion that Tony would have something so bizarre on his bucket list. "Wild, crazy and how many people can say they've ridden a Ferris wheel naked?"

Tony got even more excited at Abby's excitement. It was great to be around someone who shared his adventurous spirit. Most everybody else he knew would scoff and quite possibly never speak to him again if he'd suggested something so strange.

"I wanna go too," Abby said. "There's no way I'm letting you have all the fun!"

"I won't try to stop ya," Tony said. "You wanna go first or second?"

"Hmm," Abby said, "too bad we can't go together. I guess I'll go first," she said pulling her shirt over her head.

Tony had to give himself a mental head slap to not ogle Abby as she undressed in front of him. She had a nice body but he knew she was off limits. For one, they worked together and he didn't need things getting awkward between them and secondly, she was one of the most fun people he knew. He didn't want to lose her, but wow, looking at her—

"Hello, earth to Tony," Abby said interrupting his thoughts.

"Right, sorry," Tony said. He'd have to sort out his sexual feelings later.

Abby climbed into the car and shrieked when her naked butt made contact with the cool metal seat. Tony smiled at her as he pulled the lever to start the ride. He could hear Abby's excited squeals as the wheel made its way around. He let her go and laughed with her as she went until she told him she was done.

"That was amazing," she said exaggerating each word. She watched as he just stood there and stared at her. "Well, are you gonna strip or what?" she asked impatiently.

"I'm stripping, I'm stripping," Tony said shedding his shirt. Abby, still naked, standing in front of him was definitely a distraction but Tony found himself enjoying taking his clothes off under her watchful gaze. Maybe there was a little bit of an exhibitionist in him. He had a nice body and he knew it. He didn't mind if Abby knew it as well.

Once he was naked he climbed into the car Abby had just gotten out of and Abby started the ride. The cool night air on his skin as the car made its way around, though slightly awkward, was exhilarating. Tony was all smiles and having the time of his life, even when Abby stopped the ride at the top. Many people didn't like being stopped at the top but Tony was on a natural high and feeling invincible.

"Woohoo!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as he stood and spread his arms out wide.

Abby laughed at his excitement as she got dressed and ran the controls. She was trying to freak him out a little by stopping his car at the top but Tony didn't seem to mind. It was all fun and games until she tried to start the ride up again and it didn't move. She wiggled and jerked the lever but still nothing.

"Uh-oh," she muttered under her breath.

"Gettin' a little chilly up here, Abs!" Tony hollered down.

"Uh, hang on a sec!" Abby yelled. She cursed under her breath as she fiddled with the lever, trying to get the ride going again. Frustration quickly took over and she kicked the control panel out of anger. She pulled the lever again and the ride started moving. "That was close," she said to herself.

Tony had been around twice when Abby started getting the feeling they weren't alone. She stopped the wheel when Tony made it to the bottom and scanned the area around them.

"Come on, Abs, send me around again!" Tony said, not being quiet at all.

"Shh!" Abby said, her finger in front of her lips.

Tony was out of the car and by Abby's side in an instant. "Is somebody here?"

"I dunno," Abby whispered.

As soon as Tony grabbed his pile of clothes they saw a flashlight scanning the grounds and moving in their direction. They took off in the opposite direction, Tony holding onto his clothes as he followed behind Abby. They headed towards the back of the park and didn't stop until they thought they were safe.

"Did we lose 'em?" Tony whispered pulling his boxers on followed by his jeans.

Before Abby could answer they heard the familiar beep of a two way radio. "Got anything over there, Pauly?" a male voice asked.

"Not yet," Paul answered, "but I know somebody's here. Ferris wheel was going."

"Maybe the ghosts from the haunted house escaped," the other man teased.

"Funny, Kev," Paul said, "real funny. Maybe you should trade in that badge for a job as a standup comic."

"Just a matter of time, Baby," Kevin said over the radio. "I'll head around the west side and meet you by the bumper cars."

"Copy that," Paul said.

"And Pauly, watch out for ghosts." Kevin couldn't see his partner but knew he was most likely getting the finger. He laughed as he clipped his radio back to his belt. Just as he was getting ready to continue his search, he heard a sneeze behind him. He turned quickly, shining his flashlight in the direction of the noise.

Abby glared at Tony but realized there was no time to scold him. The security guard had heard them. They bolted under the cover of darkness but were well aware their footsteps could be heard. Luckily the beam on the guard's flashlight wasn't strong enough to spot them.

"Hey!" Kevin yelled into the darkness. He took off in the direction of the footsteps, constantly scanning with his flashlight but he had to be much more cautious than Tony and Abby. He had no idea who was out there and wanted to be sure he got home to his wife and newborn baby in the morning.

Tony and Abby cut across to the kiddy park and hid by the teacups to watch, wait and listen. Tony pulled his shirt over his head, happy to finally be dressed again. Being caught at the fair was one thing but being caught butt naked was not something he wanted to have to try to explain.

"You didn't tell me there were security guards wandering around here," Tony scolded quietly.

"Of course there are security guards, Tony!" Abby said in a loud whisper. "I heard they just sit around in their office watching movies and eating popcorn though. I didn't think they'd actually come out and check."

"We gotta get out of here," Tony said.

"If they're meeting up by the bumper cars, we can jump the fence back here," Abby said.

"We just have to make sure they're nowhere close," Tony said. "Climbing the fence is gonna make noise and it'll take a minute or two." Before the two could discuss their plan further, all the lights in the park came on. "That's not good," Tony said.

"If they turned the lights on, they're close to the front of the park," Abby reasoned. "It's now or never. Let's just do it."

The two quickly crept towards the nearest fence, using the rides as cover and listening carefully. They had no idea where the guards were or how many there were. Both knew there could've been more they hadn't seen or heard yet and both were well aware that they could've called the cops. Technically they were trespassing.

With the fence in sight, they paused to make sure no one was close. They'd have to run out in the open to reach freedom.

"Alright, Abs, you gotta be quick," Tony said. "Up and over, Baby, up and over."

"I'm quick," Abby said. "I can do this."

"Count of three," Tony said. He looked around one last time, looked at the fence they were headed towards, then back at Abby. "One, two, three!"

Both ran to the fence as fast as they could. Tony made sure Abby was off the ground then he started up the fence. It was a tall fence but luckily there was no barbed wire at the top. Abby had just swung her leg over and Tony was nearly to the top when they security guard spotted them.

"Hey! Get back here!" Kevin yelled. "Paul! Paul! Back fence! Back fence!"

"Abby run!" Tony yelled, quickening his pace.

Abby dropped to the ground and disappeared into the shadows. The security guard was quick on his feet and made it to the fence in time to grab the bottom of Tony's pant leg but Tony slipped from his grip before the man could pull him down. He threw himself over the fence, dropped the long distance to the ground and hurried away.

Abby raced to where Tony was headed and whispered his name so he'd know where she was. They looked back at the fence and saw Paul attempting to follow them over. Luckily his heavy boots were slowing him down.

"We gotta run," Tony said. His ankle was sore from landing on it wrong but he knew it was just sprained, not broken.

He limped as they hurried off, making several turns on the dark streets. When they were confident the security guards wouldn't be able to find them anymore, they slowed their pace and caught their breath.

"You okay?" Abby asked.

"Yeah, just a sprained ankle," Tony said. "You?"

"I cut my arm on the top of the fence but it's just a scratch," Abby said showing him the injury. "It's a good thing we didn't park right by the fairgrounds. We'd be stuck here all night."

"Yeah, hadn't thought about that," Tony said. "But do you mind explaining to me why didn't we park right by the fairgrounds? Did you know something like this was gonna happen?"

"Not a clue," Abby said. "It was great though, wasn't it? So much excitement!"

Tony smiled from ear to ear as he nodded his head. "And we got to ride a Ferris wheel naked!"

* * *

When Tony got to work on Monday morning he found a blurry surveillance photo of him at the fairgrounds that had to have to been taken the previous Friday night. He panicked, wondering how it got there and who'd seen it. Nobody else was around but Gibbs' jacket was draped over his chair so Tony knew he'd been in already.

"Would you care to explain that?" Gibbs asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"Whoa, Boss," Tony said jumping at his sudden presence. "Warn a guy when you're gonna sneak up on 'em." He put his hand over his heart and took a moment to catch his breath while he tried to come up with an explanation. "I, uh, I have no idea who this is, Boss," he said.

"Mm-hmm," Gibbs said dropping another picture in front of him. "What about this one?"

Tony looked at the picture that was clearly of Abby but she was fully clothed in her picture. Tony's had been taken while he was still in the nude, though not much was visible in the dark, blurry image. "Doesn't look familiar," he said. "She's cute though." He didn't have time to brace for the head slap before Gibbs' hand connected with his head.

"Ow," Tony mumbled, rubbing his head as Abby appeared in the bullpen. She'd been summoned by Gibbs but had no idea why.

"What about you, Abs?" Gibbs asked. "Care to explain those?"

Abby took one look at the pictures and gulped. "Uh…" She knew better than to lie to Gibbs so instead of trying that she smiled sweetly at him. "Tony and I had a really exciting weekend!"

Tony's mouth fell open and his eyes widened at her admission to their boss.

"How'd they find us?" Abby asked casually, taking a closer look at the pictures. They were far too blurry to run facial recognition.

Gibbs reached into his pocket and pulled Tony's wallet out. "You lost something," he said dropping it onto his desk. "You two are lucky they aren't pressing charges, but they did enjoy watching the surveillance footage over and over again." He watched as they processed what he was saying. "What on earth possessed you two to ride the Ferris wheel naked?"

"It was amazing, Gibbs!" Abby said excitedly. "You really can't judge us until you've tried it yourself. We could go again next weekend if you want! Tony and I will go with you!"

"I'll pass," Gibbs said, "and I really don't ever wanna hear about you two doing it again either… or see the pictures."

Tony's face reddened slightly and Abby just shrugged it off. She took the pictures and tried to sneak off to her lab unnoticed but Tony snatched the picture of him out of her hand. That girl was talented when it came to photo manipulation. He didn't want a picture of him in all his glory hanging in her lab for all to see.

He smiled as he shredded the photo and tossed it into his garbage can. He'd had more fun in the month he'd been at NCIS than he'd had during the entire two years he'd spent at Baltimore PD and it was just beginning.


End file.
